A tale of two personalities

I'm dealing with this two people in one body thing kind of well I think. There's the me that's a fairly kind happy go easy teacher in the classroom and the hard nosed make you vomit coach outside. There's the guy that wrestles a new carburetor onto his truck one night and then two nights later is out-swaddling most of the moms in his future parent education class. I don't know how I do it or why I am the way I am... I just am. I certainly didn't pick this up from my dad. He's a man's man sorta guy who's always keeping the grass trimmed and what not. He plays golf or bowls in his spare time and when he works he's out in the oil field killing rattlesnakes and stuff. I get that, but just not all the time. Maybe I'm an individualist...

Ever since I was in high school I kinda enjoyed the notion of being a jack of all trades. I shook off the rest of that saying which goes "jack of all trades, master of none". I was determined that a person could be whatever. It's interesting though to think how even though I want to be involved in lots of different things and experience different activities, I've always been kind of fickle about popular opinion. I've been blessed with a wife who is open to me doing what I want and kind of being this dude that's always moving on to the next thing. I've also been blessed with some friends recently that sort of push me to go even further beyond what I do. They kind of inspire me to do other stuff that maybe I've wanted to try but just never had the opportunity or whatever (deer hunting). That being said I think at my ripe old age.... I'm finally finding my niche. Someplace between a sock puppet and a hard ass, that's where you'll find me.

So in lieu of any "Overheard" today, I want to talk about this parenting class....

One time. Exactly one. Never more, never less. I saw it once, yet it's still seared into my brain to this day. What am I talking about? None other than full on, no holds barred, strait up the pipe shot of a baby coming out of it's mom's nethers. I watched it in high school in health class and really thought I would never recover. It was the most horrific thing I'd ever seen. Jeff Foxworthy likened giving birth to a "Wet St. Bernard tryin to get in through the cat door" I've always thought that was appropriate but would much rather watch an over sized dog comically mush his way through than watch birth happen. I'm telling you this because that one time was THE one and only until this baby class. I mean I understand the purpose of showing it but holy crap... it was just flat awful. That being said, now here this:

I AM DESENSITIZED BY THE CLEANSING POWER OF BIRTH VIDEOS! Seriously, as uncomfortable and sick as the first one made me, by this point they're old hat. I literally caught my self sitting and gnawing on a snack during one class a couple weeks ago. Thank goodness for that class. If it weren't for that, I may have gotten a little hungry during labor, now I can eat a cheesesteak with one hand and cut the umbilical cord with the other.... faaaantastic.

Who am I kiddin, kids ALWAYS say the darndest things.

Overheard at WoRMS

::Talking about our can drive in a class of 27::

girl: 10 cans, 10 CANS PEOPLE... If we all bring 10 cans, this class will have over FOUR HUNDRED!

me: woog