I'm dealing with this two people in one body thing kind of well I think. There's the me that's a fairly kind happy go easy teacher in the classroom and the hard nosed make you vomit coach outside. There's the guy that wrestles a new carburetor onto his truck one night and then two nights later is out-swaddling most of the moms in his future parent education class. I don't know how I do it or why I am the way I am... I just am. I certainly didn't pick this up from my dad. He's a man's man sorta guy who's always keeping the grass trimmed and what not. He plays golf or bowls in his spare time and when he works he's out in the oil field killing rattlesnakes and stuff. I get that, but just not all the time. Maybe I'm an individualist...
Ever since I was in high school I kinda enjoyed the notion of being a jack of all trades. I shook off the rest of that saying which goes "jack of all trades, master of none". I was determined that a person could be whatever. It's interesting though to think how even though I want to be involved in lots of different things and experience different activities, I've always been kind of fickle about popular opinion. I've been blessed with a wife who is open to me doing what I want and kind of being this dude that's always moving on to the next thing. I've also been blessed with some friends recently that sort of push me to go even further beyond what I do. They kind of inspire me to do other stuff that maybe I've wanted to try but just never had the opportunity or whatever (deer hunting). That being said I think at my ripe old age.... I'm finally finding my niche. Someplace between a sock puppet and a hard ass, that's where you'll find me.
So in lieu of any "Overheard" today, I want to talk about this parenting class....
One time. Exactly one. Never more, never less. I saw it once, yet it's still seared into my brain to this day. What am I talking about? None other than full on, no holds barred, strait up the pipe shot of a baby coming out of it's mom's nethers. I watched it in high school in health class and really thought I would never recover. It was the most horrific thing I'd ever seen. Jeff Foxworthy likened giving birth to a "Wet St. Bernard tryin to get in through the cat door" I've always thought that was appropriate but would much rather watch an over sized dog comically mush his way through than watch birth happen. I'm telling you this because that one time was THE one and only until this baby class. I mean I understand the purpose of showing it but holy crap... it was just flat awful. That being said, now here this:
I AM DESENSITIZED BY THE CLEANSING POWER OF BIRTH VIDEOS! Seriously, as uncomfortable and sick as the first one made me, by this point they're old hat. I literally caught my self sitting and gnawing on a snack during one class a couple weeks ago. Thank goodness for that class. If it weren't for that, I may have gotten a little hungry during labor, now I can eat a cheesesteak with one hand and cut the umbilical cord with the other.... faaaantastic.
Who am I kiddin, kids ALWAYS say the darndest things.
Overheard at WoRMS
::Talking about our can drive in a class of 27::
girl: 10 cans, 10 CANS PEOPLE... If we all bring 10 cans, this class will have over FOUR HUNDRED!
me: woog
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Day 3 of Spur's Training Camp
So you may remember just yesterday when I was writing about several new gigs I've picked up to make some extra dough around the school house. Coaching off season is one of them. It's an interesting program we run here. For some reason there are guys in the athletics class who are not athletes. Now, when I say 'not athletes' some of you may be picturing a normal kid who just doesn't play sports. And, at least in part, you would be right. But some of them... woog they are NOT athletes. So little in their world of video games and loafing around the halls could prepare them for a program which I deem to be difficult for even the most in shape and truly athletic individuals.
A girl came up to me today and told me that the guys on her bus are literally counting the days. COUNTING THE DAYS! How awesome is that?! I've literally been on the job for three days and already they're countin em up. I love it because I think some will truly see the merit in what I'm trying to do. Those folks will drink the Kool-Aid and become little beasts by summer time. Others who are too weak, too immature, too stupid, too complacent or too cocky to just give it their best shot are going to fall short. Speaking of too weak... I think I'll just cut the blog right there and go right into today's Overheard at WoRMS:
Kid: Coach, I'm feeling sick and I just threw up, I need to stop.
Me: Son, what is it you do here?
Kid: What do you mean?
Me: Sports?
Kid: I play basketball.
Me: The basketball team's inside son, you don't play basketball. Do you play any sports for the school?
Kid: no
Me: Why are you in athletics then?
Kid: I really don't... BLEEEH *throws up on his shoes*
Me: awesome....
A girl came up to me today and told me that the guys on her bus are literally counting the days. COUNTING THE DAYS! How awesome is that?! I've literally been on the job for three days and already they're countin em up. I love it because I think some will truly see the merit in what I'm trying to do. Those folks will drink the Kool-Aid and become little beasts by summer time. Others who are too weak, too immature, too stupid, too complacent or too cocky to just give it their best shot are going to fall short. Speaking of too weak... I think I'll just cut the blog right there and go right into today's Overheard at WoRMS:
Kid: Coach, I'm feeling sick and I just threw up, I need to stop.
Me: Son, what is it you do here?
Kid: What do you mean?
Me: Sports?
Kid: I play basketball.
Me: The basketball team's inside son, you don't play basketball. Do you play any sports for the school?
Kid: no
Me: Why are you in athletics then?
Kid: I really don't... BLEEEH *throws up on his shoes*
Me: awesome....
Monday, November 10, 2008
Days are long but the money is HOT
So I've figured out this teaching thing. If you play your cards right, it really doesn't pay all that bad. You just have to be willing to give up some of that precious free time that you love so much about being a teacher. Some teachers will say... "I don't know what YOUR talking about! I have NO free time." Bologna I say!
The thing about people is that no matter what it is they're doing, if they're being coerced somehow to do it, they will start to feel overwhelmed. I read an article not to long ago about a professional gamer (yeah, someone who plays video games for a living) who was retiring at like 29. No, it wasn't because he had made too much money or anything although he did make a substantial amount. Instead it was stress. STRESS?! STRESS! Wait wait wait... so the guy who plays video games as a career is over worked?! What hope do any of us have?
I talk alot in this blog about trying to mello out. Perhaps thats because it happens to be a life goal of mine... to stay chill. This goal is however getting more and more difficult to reach the older I get. Bills, job, house and impending babyness are but a few reasons why. I think the way we can make it (I say 'we' here meaning teachers but maybe it could apply to you too) is to just look around at the positives and be a positive thinker. In a normal day the average joe teacher does about 6 hours of actual work. Yeah thats right, I said it... 6 hours. Now, to this we have to add grading, parent conferences, team meetings and faculty get togethers. Most of that stuff though, can be avoided if you really want. So while some teachers freak about never having enough time, I've started looking for ways to fill mine:
First, I've decided to become involved over the summer. I'll be taking classes and hopefully teaching some all in the name of more money.
Second, I've given up my time directly before and after school to be our crossing guard. This gig literally pays half as much as being a coach for a 100th of the time commitment.
Third, I gave up that silly polyp called an off period and have started coaching off season athletics. This gig literally pays almost twice what the crossing guard does!
So see, if you take some of that time that they wantonly hand out and put it to good use... Education can be a pretty good income source. Just make sure whatever it is your saying yes to has a good pay stub attached and it's something you at least mildly enjoy. If not, you may find yourself retiring at 29... woof
Overheard at WoRMS
girl: you going to the game this weekend?
me: yep
girl: me too
me: where you sittin?
girl: like the 60 i think
other kid: you mean the 40?
girl: oh no we're not down that far.....
me: *blank stare*
_____________________________
wife comes to visit a class...
me: ladies and gentlemen, this is my wife
class: yay!
wife says bye and leaves... a few minutes pass
guy student: wait, who was that lady that was just in here?
girl student: idiot
The thing about people is that no matter what it is they're doing, if they're being coerced somehow to do it, they will start to feel overwhelmed. I read an article not to long ago about a professional gamer (yeah, someone who plays video games for a living) who was retiring at like 29. No, it wasn't because he had made too much money or anything although he did make a substantial amount. Instead it was stress. STRESS?! STRESS! Wait wait wait... so the guy who plays video games as a career is over worked?! What hope do any of us have?
I talk alot in this blog about trying to mello out. Perhaps thats because it happens to be a life goal of mine... to stay chill. This goal is however getting more and more difficult to reach the older I get. Bills, job, house and impending babyness are but a few reasons why. I think the way we can make it (I say 'we' here meaning teachers but maybe it could apply to you too) is to just look around at the positives and be a positive thinker. In a normal day the average joe teacher does about 6 hours of actual work. Yeah thats right, I said it... 6 hours. Now, to this we have to add grading, parent conferences, team meetings and faculty get togethers. Most of that stuff though, can be avoided if you really want. So while some teachers freak about never having enough time, I've started looking for ways to fill mine:
First, I've decided to become involved over the summer. I'll be taking classes and hopefully teaching some all in the name of more money.
Second, I've given up my time directly before and after school to be our crossing guard. This gig literally pays half as much as being a coach for a 100th of the time commitment.
Third, I gave up that silly polyp called an off period and have started coaching off season athletics. This gig literally pays almost twice what the crossing guard does!
So see, if you take some of that time that they wantonly hand out and put it to good use... Education can be a pretty good income source. Just make sure whatever it is your saying yes to has a good pay stub attached and it's something you at least mildly enjoy. If not, you may find yourself retiring at 29... woof
Overheard at WoRMS
girl: you going to the game this weekend?
me: yep
girl: me too
me: where you sittin?
girl: like the 60 i think
other kid: you mean the 40?
girl: oh no we're not down that far.....
me: *blank stare*
_____________________________
wife comes to visit a class...
me: ladies and gentlemen, this is my wife
class: yay!
wife says bye and leaves... a few minutes pass
guy student: wait, who was that lady that was just in here?
girl student: idiot
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Bi-Partisanship never looked so good...
Wow... It's been a whole month. A MONTH since the last time I posted. I can't really explain this. Maybe you'll feel me when I say, "Things only get easier to put off the longer you put them off." I'm not sure why I put quotes around that. But the point is that I felt the need to write some kind of HEY I'M BACK kind of post. Well this ain't it.
To be honest the thing that really inspired me to sit down at the old 'lappy' (as one of my good friends loves to call it) is last night's election results. Allow me a moment of complete transparency and I'll let you in on a secret. I didn't vote for OBAMA... shhhhhhh It's true I didn't. But to tell you the truth, I'm too much of a social studies dude to not think the whole Hope revolution is cool. Just look at how many folks are interested in politics that weren't before. And most likely this intrest will turn into action. Now a whole new generation of people, who not only know that they can participate but also WANT to participate, are stepping forward. And don't take this to mean black people... Ofcourse that is a definite component. But on top of that you've also got Hispanics turning out in record numbers to vote, young voters turning out at an extremely high level and millions coming out to see the acceptance speech after the dust settles. This is big folks. Whether you supported Obama or not, so what? He's the president now so you might as well pray that he does a good job and join the party. Why? Because not at anytime in recent history was bi partisanship and politics in general so sexy. I love it personally and I hope you do to.
To catch you up on some stuff thats been going on with me personally...
I won a pie eating contest at my school's recent fund raising carnival... the key is to take in plenty of water, makes the pie go down smoooooth...
I also shot a deer on opening day that looks like a decent sized dog but is full grown I promise....
And of course I have to give you a little of everyones' fave:
Overheard at WoRMS:
kid: Do you think Obama is going to die?
me: yup
kid: Just because he's black? man that is messed up.
me: hmm yeah that and he's a person, dyin's what we do best.
kid: No I mean like assasination. Do you think he has a better chance of getting assasinated or dying of natural causes?
me: natural
kid: but he's a black president! you don't think he'll get assasinated?!
me: we're done here
_______
I see a girl sharpening someone's pencil while holding the pencil sharpener in her mouth.
me: Umm... Why are you sharpening pencils like that?
girl: Like what?
me: *hufffff* Why do you have the pencil sharpener in your mouth?
girl: because it just fits
me: *heeeeehhhh* just sharpen pencils normally please
girl: I don't want to
me: why not?
girl: because the sharpener has spit all over it.
me: woof...
(I have pictures of this one but I can't put them on for confidentiality sake... it's truly unreal)
Sorry again for the long hiatus. Hopefully if the country can turn over a new leaf so can I.... now where did I put those papers I was supposed to grade two weeks ago?
To be honest the thing that really inspired me to sit down at the old 'lappy' (as one of my good friends loves to call it) is last night's election results. Allow me a moment of complete transparency and I'll let you in on a secret. I didn't vote for OBAMA... shhhhhhh It's true I didn't. But to tell you the truth, I'm too much of a social studies dude to not think the whole Hope revolution is cool. Just look at how many folks are interested in politics that weren't before. And most likely this intrest will turn into action. Now a whole new generation of people, who not only know that they can participate but also WANT to participate, are stepping forward. And don't take this to mean black people... Ofcourse that is a definite component. But on top of that you've also got Hispanics turning out in record numbers to vote, young voters turning out at an extremely high level and millions coming out to see the acceptance speech after the dust settles. This is big folks. Whether you supported Obama or not, so what? He's the president now so you might as well pray that he does a good job and join the party. Why? Because not at anytime in recent history was bi partisanship and politics in general so sexy. I love it personally and I hope you do to.
To catch you up on some stuff thats been going on with me personally...
I won a pie eating contest at my school's recent fund raising carnival... the key is to take in plenty of water, makes the pie go down smoooooth...
I also shot a deer on opening day that looks like a decent sized dog but is full grown I promise....
And of course I have to give you a little of everyones' fave:
Overheard at WoRMS:
kid: Do you think Obama is going to die?
me: yup
kid: Just because he's black? man that is messed up.
me: hmm yeah that and he's a person, dyin's what we do best.
kid: No I mean like assasination. Do you think he has a better chance of getting assasinated or dying of natural causes?
me: natural
kid: but he's a black president! you don't think he'll get assasinated?!
me: we're done here
_______
I see a girl sharpening someone's pencil while holding the pencil sharpener in her mouth.
me: Umm... Why are you sharpening pencils like that?
girl: Like what?
me: *hufffff* Why do you have the pencil sharpener in your mouth?
girl: because it just fits
me: *heeeeehhhh* just sharpen pencils normally please
girl: I don't want to
me: why not?
girl: because the sharpener has spit all over it.
me: woof...
(I have pictures of this one but I can't put them on for confidentiality sake... it's truly unreal)
Sorry again for the long hiatus. Hopefully if the country can turn over a new leaf so can I.... now where did I put those papers I was supposed to grade two weeks ago?
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