A tale of two personalities

I'm dealing with this two people in one body thing kind of well I think. There's the me that's a fairly kind happy go easy teacher in the classroom and the hard nosed make you vomit coach outside. There's the guy that wrestles a new carburetor onto his truck one night and then two nights later is out-swaddling most of the moms in his future parent education class. I don't know how I do it or why I am the way I am... I just am. I certainly didn't pick this up from my dad. He's a man's man sorta guy who's always keeping the grass trimmed and what not. He plays golf or bowls in his spare time and when he works he's out in the oil field killing rattlesnakes and stuff. I get that, but just not all the time. Maybe I'm an individualist...

Ever since I was in high school I kinda enjoyed the notion of being a jack of all trades. I shook off the rest of that saying which goes "jack of all trades, master of none". I was determined that a person could be whatever. It's interesting though to think how even though I want to be involved in lots of different things and experience different activities, I've always been kind of fickle about popular opinion. I've been blessed with a wife who is open to me doing what I want and kind of being this dude that's always moving on to the next thing. I've also been blessed with some friends recently that sort of push me to go even further beyond what I do. They kind of inspire me to do other stuff that maybe I've wanted to try but just never had the opportunity or whatever (deer hunting). That being said I think at my ripe old age.... I'm finally finding my niche. Someplace between a sock puppet and a hard ass, that's where you'll find me.

So in lieu of any "Overheard" today, I want to talk about this parenting class....

One time. Exactly one. Never more, never less. I saw it once, yet it's still seared into my brain to this day. What am I talking about? None other than full on, no holds barred, strait up the pipe shot of a baby coming out of it's mom's nethers. I watched it in high school in health class and really thought I would never recover. It was the most horrific thing I'd ever seen. Jeff Foxworthy likened giving birth to a "Wet St. Bernard tryin to get in through the cat door" I've always thought that was appropriate but would much rather watch an over sized dog comically mush his way through than watch birth happen. I'm telling you this because that one time was THE one and only until this baby class. I mean I understand the purpose of showing it but holy crap... it was just flat awful. That being said, now here this:

I AM DESENSITIZED BY THE CLEANSING POWER OF BIRTH VIDEOS! Seriously, as uncomfortable and sick as the first one made me, by this point they're old hat. I literally caught my self sitting and gnawing on a snack during one class a couple weeks ago. Thank goodness for that class. If it weren't for that, I may have gotten a little hungry during labor, now I can eat a cheesesteak with one hand and cut the umbilical cord with the other.... faaaantastic.

Who am I kiddin, kids ALWAYS say the darndest things.

Overheard at WoRMS

::Talking about our can drive in a class of 27::

girl: 10 cans, 10 CANS PEOPLE... If we all bring 10 cans, this class will have over FOUR HUNDRED!

me: woog

Day 3 of Spur's Training Camp

So you may remember just yesterday when I was writing about several new gigs I've picked up to make some extra dough around the school house. Coaching off season is one of them. It's an interesting program we run here. For some reason there are guys in the athletics class who are not athletes. Now, when I say 'not athletes' some of you may be picturing a normal kid who just doesn't play sports. And, at least in part, you would be right. But some of them... woog they are NOT athletes. So little in their world of video games and loafing around the halls could prepare them for a program which I deem to be difficult for even the most in shape and truly athletic individuals.

A girl came up to me today and told me that the guys on her bus are literally counting the days. COUNTING THE DAYS! How awesome is that?! I've literally been on the job for three days and already they're countin em up. I love it because I think some will truly see the merit in what I'm trying to do. Those folks will drink the Kool-Aid and become little beasts by summer time. Others who are too weak, too immature, too stupid, too complacent or too cocky to just give it their best shot are going to fall short. Speaking of too weak... I think I'll just cut the blog right there and go right into today's Overheard at WoRMS:


Kid: Coach, I'm feeling sick and I just threw up, I need to stop.

Me: Son, what is it you do here?

Kid: What do you mean?

Me: Sports?

Kid: I play basketball.

Me: The basketball team's inside son, you don't play basketball. Do you play any sports for the school?

Kid: no

Me: Why are you in athletics then?

Kid: I really don't... BLEEEH *throws up on his shoes*

Me: awesome....

Days are long but the money is HOT

So I've figured out this teaching thing. If you play your cards right, it really doesn't pay all that bad. You just have to be willing to give up some of that precious free time that you love so much about being a teacher. Some teachers will say... "I don't know what YOUR talking about! I have NO free time." Bologna I say!

The thing about people is that no matter what it is they're doing, if they're being coerced somehow to do it, they will start to feel overwhelmed. I read an article not to long ago about a professional gamer (yeah, someone who plays video games for a living) who was retiring at like 29. No, it wasn't because he had made too much money or anything although he did make a substantial amount. Instead it was stress. STRESS?! STRESS! Wait wait wait... so the guy who plays video games as a career is over worked?! What hope do any of us have?

I talk alot in this blog about trying to mello out. Perhaps thats because it happens to be a life goal of mine... to stay chill. This goal is however getting more and more difficult to reach the older I get. Bills, job, house and impending babyness are but a few reasons why. I think the way we can make it (I say 'we' here meaning teachers but maybe it could apply to you too) is to just look around at the positives and be a positive thinker. In a normal day the average joe teacher does about 6 hours of actual work. Yeah thats right, I said it... 6 hours. Now, to this we have to add grading, parent conferences, team meetings and faculty get togethers. Most of that stuff though, can be avoided if you really want. So while some teachers freak about never having enough time, I've started looking for ways to fill mine:

First, I've decided to become involved over the summer. I'll be taking classes and hopefully teaching some all in the name of more money.
Second, I've given up my time directly before and after school to be our crossing guard. This gig literally pays half as much as being a coach for a 100th of the time commitment.
Third, I gave up that silly polyp called an off period and have started coaching off season athletics. This gig literally pays almost twice what the crossing guard does!

So see, if you take some of that time that they wantonly hand out and put it to good use... Education can be a pretty good income source. Just make sure whatever it is your saying yes to has a good pay stub attached and it's something you at least mildly enjoy. If not, you may find yourself retiring at 29... woof

Overheard at WoRMS
girl: you going to the game this weekend?

me: yep

girl: me too

me: where you sittin?

girl: like the 60 i think

other kid: you mean the 40?

girl: oh no we're not down that far.....

me: *blank stare*
_____________________________

wife comes to visit a class...

me: ladies and gentlemen, this is my wife

class: yay!

wife says bye and leaves... a few minutes pass

guy student: wait, who was that lady that was just in here?

girl student: idiot

Bi-Partisanship never looked so good...

Wow... It's been a whole month. A MONTH since the last time I posted. I can't really explain this. Maybe you'll feel me when I say, "Things only get easier to put off the longer you put them off." I'm not sure why I put quotes around that. But the point is that I felt the need to write some kind of HEY I'M BACK kind of post. Well this ain't it.

To be honest the thing that really inspired me to sit down at the old 'lappy' (as one of my good friends loves to call it) is last night's election results. Allow me a moment of complete transparency and I'll let you in on a secret. I didn't vote for OBAMA... shhhhhhh It's true I didn't. But to tell you the truth, I'm too much of a social studies dude to not think the whole Hope revolution is cool. Just look at how many folks are interested in politics that weren't before. And most likely this intrest will turn into action. Now a whole new generation of people, who not only know that they can participate but also WANT to participate, are stepping forward. And don't take this to mean black people... Ofcourse that is a definite component. But on top of that you've also got Hispanics turning out in record numbers to vote, young voters turning out at an extremely high level and millions coming out to see the acceptance speech after the dust settles. This is big folks. Whether you supported Obama or not, so what? He's the president now so you might as well pray that he does a good job and join the party. Why? Because not at anytime in recent history was bi partisanship and politics in general so sexy. I love it personally and I hope you do to.

To catch you up on some stuff thats been going on with me personally...

I won a pie eating contest at my school's recent fund raising carnival... the key is to take in plenty of water, makes the pie go down smoooooth...

I also shot a deer on opening day that looks like a decent sized dog but is full grown I promise....

And of course I have to give you a little of everyones' fave:

Overheard at WoRMS:
kid: Do you think Obama is going to die?

me: yup

kid: Just because he's black? man that is messed up.

me: hmm yeah that and he's a person, dyin's what we do best.

kid: No I mean like assasination. Do you think he has a better chance of getting assasinated or dying of natural causes?

me: natural

kid: but he's a black president! you don't think he'll get assasinated?!

me: we're done here

_______
I see a girl sharpening someone's pencil while holding the pencil sharpener in her mouth.
me: Umm... Why are you sharpening pencils like that?
girl: Like what?
me: *hufffff* Why do you have the pencil sharpener in your mouth?
girl: because it just fits
me: *heeeeehhhh* just sharpen pencils normally please
girl: I don't want to
me: why not?
girl: because the sharpener has spit all over it.
me: woof...
(I have pictures of this one but I can't put them on for confidentiality sake... it's truly unreal)


Sorry again for the long hiatus. Hopefully if the country can turn over a new leaf so can I.... now where did I put those papers I was supposed to grade two weeks ago?

Cool as a cucumber...

So I've found the secret to life... it's called "chillin the F out".

Revolutionary huh? Well I've figured it out in spades over the last few days.

For whatever reason, I've been feeling in the dumps for a while. It all culminated yesterday when at times I sort of felt so down that I just wanted to go curl up somewhere and cry myself to sleep. Alright so maybe that's a little melodramatic. But I will say that on Monday I was so down and out that I literally rolled out of bed, went to my computer and looked up Daylight Savings time. I was doing this with the shred of hope that maybe time had changed and I just hadn't heard. It hadn't... and so began a day filled with bleh.

So last night it was getting toward bed time and my wife was watching TV in another room as I looked blankly at my facebook page wishing I wasn't feeling so much like Eeyore. And then I found myself staring at the box of crayons that I had been using to grade papers when it hit me... I want to color. It didn't take much digging before I found 3 different coloring books. I got them out, and started coloring. I colored about 2 or 3 pages before I even took a minute to think about why I was coloring for the first time in at least 10 years. And truthfully, all I could come up with was... it's relaxing. I'm not sure why but I guess because it isn't facebook and it isn't mindless shopping for things I'll never buy. It isn't reading or watching television. It's something you must actively participate in to do. It requires thought, action, and concentration. All of a sudden you don't have to block out thoughts of the economy, thoughts of your job, thoughts of school, thoughts of chores... you're just there, with a crayon and Mickey Mouse playing a fireman. And instead of worrying about all the crap that comes with life... you can just, be. Just like when you were a kid. When you picked up a crayon, all that mattered was what color things were going to be. And even that wasn't especially important. You could care less about staying in the lines or making things look like real life. You just relaxed and did it.

So how did this work? Famously.

I colored almost until it was time to climb into bed. And I woke up today feeling much better than I had. And, as the day went on I reflected more on my experience and thought to myself... Self, with so much going right, why're you bein such a debbie downer? And I had no answer. My baby is currently doing gymnastics in my wife's belly, I love my kids, I love my friends, I love my truck and I love my job (most days). Why not feel good?

Folks the moral of the story is that you gotta relax. Personally I recommend whipping out the Crayolas. And if you say "Spur, there's no time for coloring in my life" Perhaps you've just laid out the reason why you're so stressed. Cut your activities down, make time for the coloring books of life and I guarantee you'll feel better about facing the poo when it hits the fan.

Thanks for letting me share.

In times of economic crises, we could all use a laugh. Here's multiple doses. Keep in mind I only put up serious dialogue. These aren't just kids being silly... I swear. I wish they were. Enjoy!

Overheard @ WoRMS:
Me: So you see since a buccaneer is like a pirate, and the West Indies are the Caribbean... Then these guys lost their ship to Pirates of the Caribbean.
Student: Wait, so Pirates of the Caribbean is real.
Me: Yep there really were pirates in the Caribbean.
Student: So Captain Jack Sparrow was real?
Me: No
Student: The black pearl?
Me: No
Student: The guy with like the white hair and...
Me (cutting her off): Listen, the movie... not real at all.
Student: But you just said it was.
Me: Woog...

Student: Is this supposed to be like a metal horse skull or something?
Me: Huh?
Other student: No idiot! read the caption...
Caption: "Spanish Horse Armor"
Student: ooooooh
Me: oof...

Me: So his name was Friar Marcos
Student: OK but what kind of friar was he?
Me: A Catholic one? I guess....
Student:But what KIND of friar?
Me: Errr... why don't you give me some options and I'll tell you which one it is.
Student: Well there's like a friar that fries chicken and like french fries and stuff...
Me: No No... That's a FRYER. We're talking about a FRIAR. It's a position someone can have in the Catholic church. Sort of like a priest, nun or monk.
Student: Oooh.
Me: Have you ever seen Robin Hood? There's a guy named Friar Tuck in that movie. Even though he's not real because that story is fiction, the character is a friar.
Student: What's fiction
Me: A made-up story
Student: Robin Hood isn't made up
Me: Ummmm yeah it's fake
Student: Well I know the cartoon one with the tail and the furry ears isn't real but...
Me: Nope. The cartoon isn't real and neither is the Kevin Costner version. Robin Hood was not a real person.
Student: Yuh huh
Me: Sorry, he um... just wasn't.
Student: Since when?!
Me:..........................*hangs head*

Face your fears...

So I've had this reoccurring dream that I was being forced to dance in front of my whole middle school. Not the one I'm teaching at now... Just as a kid or an adult in front of some large body of tweeners that mercilessly lash me with insults while I writhe around doing only what a baboon might consider dance moves.

Many of you may have had this dream before. Perhaps yours had nudity or underwear mixed in. Thankfully mine haven't or I may have chewed right through my mouth guard that I wear at night to keep me from nervously grinding my teeth. Anyway if you have had this dream, maybe you can tell me what it means. I really have no idea. All I know is that I've always associated it with my general fear of dancing and moreover my fear of dancing in front of folks. It wasn't until the last year or so that I've managed to start dancing at weddings and things on a regular basis. I don't know why, but I've never really been down with bustin a move. Probably because I suck at it.

I'm telling you this to provide a little background for last week when I found out the activity I had blindly agreed to participate in at the pep rally was... you guessed it, a dance off. Needless to say I didn't sleep well the night before.

Luckily as the day began I stayed fairly busy and thus distracted. My wife showed up during my early off period with donuts for me which was an extremely awesome high point. The kids were fairly cool all day and like I said, for the most part, I was able to put the ordeal out of mind. That was, until the end of the day, when I had a whole hour's worth of off period to stew on my impending doom. I'm not kidding you, I was so overwhelmed that I literally found myself watching soldier boy's how-to video so I could brush up on how to crank that.

So when the hour came to actually take the floor I felt like every digestive organ was somewhere in the back of my throat. Nevertheless there was no getting out of it now. (I had already tried to use my crossing guard duty as an out to no avail.) Then the cheerleading sponsor called us out in a frenzy to the middle of the floor where we would square off with a bunch of kids. As it turns out there would be 12 people out there dancing all at once, 6 kids and 6 teachers. There would be a winner from both groups. Well... at least I don't have the spotlight.

What happened next is a little fuzzy to my recollection. In my mind there was just this flurry of flying around doing the running man, the sprinkler, the worm and some bootleg yoga moves all set to the tune of 15 second cuts of 80s music. Teachers and kids alike were going nuts... both on the floor and in the stands. Somewhere toward the end, with sweat rolling and me panting like basset hound in a marathon, I looked up and realized there were no other teachers on the floor. Had they all walked off? Well I decided to take the opportunity and make my exit.... no dice.

Some friendly little cheerleader, who I don't even know said, "No Mr. Spur! Stay in there!" And she pushed me back out. On my way back to the floor I notice one of the kids still left. Dude had some serious moves. It was pretty cool and at some points, whether out of amazement or sheer exhaustion, I found myself just standing and watching. Then I sort of became his cheerleader because it was pretty clear that he was the kid winner.

When the smoke cleared and the dancing ended, two cool things happened. 1. I had faced my fear and managed to overcome. and 2. I won... who woulda thought. Moral of the story... face your fears kids, you never know where it might get you.

Overheard @ WoRMS:
Girl: So since my first buffalo looks like an elephant, should I draw my second one with a trunk or not?
Me: Huh?
Girl: Well, he told me yesterday that a buffalo was like an elephant and so I drew an elephant but today I see what they really look like so what should I do.
Me: Don't believe everything everyone tells you... it's starting to make you look silly. Draw a brown cow with horns... no trunk...
(I'm going to get this thing and scan it in for you folks, it's unreal)

Buddy I wish you coulda been there...

So I just got in from Adrian's memorial service at UT's memorial pond. It was a surreal experience. If you had told me a year ago, a month ago, or even a couple weeks ago that we would be there, grieving our collective loss... I wouldn't have believed you. I think Dr. Salinas said it best when she said, "He's the last person I would have expected this to happen to. When he (Adrian) went to New York to teach I thought, 'well of course you would, you've done everything else...'" And he had...

It's been amazing how many of you out there Adrian has touched. So much so that this blog has gotten around 10 times more hits over the last week or so than it had gotten since I first began writing. This only goes to prove how many people literally around the world are searching for answers in the wake of his death. Today was more of the same.

There were so many people there. Which I suppose shouldn't have come as any sort of surprise but it sort of seemed like this thing had been thrown together quickly. So how could any sort of word have gotten out about it? Nevertheless, I'd say 50+ people showed up to pay their respects.

It was a fairly somber affair as one would expect. But I couldn't help but think what if... What if Adrian could have seen how many people were there? What if he could have heard them talk about how even those that barely knew him were touched just by meeting him? What if he could've seen how many of us UTeach kids showed up and reconnected over our common loss? What if he could see how many people are searching the web for any shred of information about him and his death? Would it make a difference? Would he feel any different about his life? It's impossible to know. Just like it's impossible to wrap your mind around the fact that he isn't just out traveling the world or doing something great... He's gone, forever.

So many of us miss our friend, mentor and teacher.
So many of us are looking for answers.
So many of us grieve.

Adrian, I only wish you had known just how loved you were.... Just how loved you are.

Lastly-
For all those out there grieving the loss: Say something sarcastic today. Adrian would be proud of you for it.

Oh the joys of consumerism...

So the wife and I have decided to put new carpet into our house. We'd been thinking about it for a while and recently decided to go ahead and do it. We figured that if we're going to get new carpet, we should get it before our kid starts sticking his face in it everyday. Maybe let some of those 'non-toxic' chemicals come out while he's still floating safely in the amniotic fluid.

So we get a guy out here. And let me stop right here and say that carpet salesmen are like car salesmen that come into your house. They want to make a deal and they want to make it right then, before you can talk to someone else. Anyway, the guy's here and he's showing us some good carpet in colors like sandstone, desert pearl and log cabin. We're scurrying around the house laying it in rooms trying to get a picture of what a 4 inch square would look like if it covered a whole room, laying our faces on the carpet, putting our hands in it, letting the cat walk on it...

Then it occurs to me... How many other people have done this? woof... So I tried not to think about it.

Now I'm sitting down to finish this blog, almost a full day since I started it... Ah the joys of consumerism.

Anyway so I couldn't finish it last night because the very thing I was beginning to write about was the very thing that took over my night. From about 5 oclock until almost 11 last night, my wife and I (with a little help from a friend) managed to move every single thing from a carpeted area to an un-carpeted one. So now as I write this I'm sitting in a spot I carved out for myself in the living room amongst a jungle of furniture. It's pretty unreal. Just this morning I got out of the shower just like I do everyday and, unlike everyday, I had to walk to the living room to get my underpants.... woof.

It's really put alot of stress on the ole prego wife. Kinda makes me wish in a way that we hadn't done it. I'm sure however that once our snazzy new carpet gets in here, we will love it. I know this one was a little disjointed but what do you expect?

Overheard at WoRMS
So I haven't done one of these in a while and I think we're all in the mood to smile so here's a couple.
1. Girl: "Mr. Spurlock, so North and South Carolina..."
Me: "Is this a question?"
Girl: "Yea. Which one is in Canada?"

2. Me: "OK folks what do you think the Paleo-Indians hunted and ate?"
Class barks out various answers and mysteriously quiets down just before one smart alec yells:
"BABIES!"

Lastly, I'm not sure if this will be funny but something of note. I started my first day of crossing guard duty today. I have to wear a silly vest but I get paid pretty good...

Thanks for letting me share!

Meet the Parents...

So I have to admit that after a much needed relaxing weekend, I'm finally starting to feel like myself again. I've started to realize that I may never make sense of what happened with Adrian or what had become of the person I once knew. While I may not know these things, I can imagine what the Adrian I knew would have told me at a time like this. I imagine he would say, "Coach, sometimes you just have to F'ing go and do it." So with this in mind I prepared for Monday and my first ever 'Back to School' night. Let's go and do it...

Back to school night may be better known to many of you as Open House. Parents come in, shake hands, slap backs and tell you who their kid is. Then we as teachers try to think of something positive to say about their student. Usually this isn't especially hard as I like my kids... no really I do.

So as parents come strolling in I get to shake their hands and they tell me things like "I couldn't wait to come and meet my son's favorite teacher." or "Well I had to come and see what the 'cool class' was all about." And seriously folks I'm not trying to brag here. As I write this and start to internalize for the first time how complimentary the parents were of me, tears are literally welling up. My cup runneth over...

So many teachers told me, including my own mom, that you can't smile before Christmas. You have to show them who's boss or they'll run you over. I've addressed my feelings on this in another blog so I won't go into it here. But tonight, for the first time, I really felt vindicated in my opinions on how I treat kids. Parents were over joyed that I respected their students, that I let them talk, that I didn't assign needless homework, that I look forward to seeing them everyday. They, one class after the next, told me that I was their son or daughter's favorite teacher and in some cases, I didn't even think their kid liked me. It truly was an overwhelming night to realize that I'm actually connecting with the kids. God help me to never take it for granted.

And so I'm just F'ing doing it. One day at a time, and maybe just maybe making a difference in some kids life. Thanks for letting me share it with you.

Trying to find the good in an awful time...

On a day like today, we Americans all take the moments of silence a little more solemnly than other days. It's hard to believe that it was 7 years ago when the towers fell in New York. It's also hard to believe that my mind has been so much more hung up on the happenings at NYC this September 11th than it was during the horrific events of 2001.

I suppose this is because Adrian Cane's passing has affected me personally. While the events of 9/11 will always be seared into our minds, how many of us knew someone that died that day? For those of you who did, heaven help you. I can only imagine the pain you must have felt; the pain you must still feel. Today gives me a sense of how you must have felt seeing continuing coverage for days on end. And while the tragedy of Adrian's death pales to the deaths of thousands it has indeed affected me more than watching the twin towers go down.

The solace comes in the realization that time can heal all wounds. My kids taught me this today. Many of them can barely remember the events of 9/11. Those that do have created memories from things they have seen since. Very few remember where they were or what exactly happened on that fateful day. Perhaps it's because they are young or maybe it's because they've lived about 50% of their life to date in a post 9/11 world.

So Mr. Cane, using this math perhaps when I'm 40 I will be able to look back and feel like this day is a distant memory. Then again... I doubt it.

Here's to everyone who's hurting from wounds both new and old. I feel you.

This is all I got... We'll miss you buddy.

You know sometimes stuff happens that stops you in your tracks. Things that are so incomprehensible that you can't really find the words to even begin talking about it. When things like that happen you can't help but feel bad for whining about whatever issues you've been having trouble with. And this is how I feel tonight...

About 3 hours ago I found out that my friend, Adrian Cane, killed himself. He was a 23 year old man living and teaching in New York City. Before leaving for the 'big time' he had been a student at the University of Texas and graduated from the UTeach program with me in May. We had known each other for a short amount of time but I feel like I got to know him fairly well. He was a great guy and someone who seemed to really enjoy the meeting of the minds that came with education. He wanted to use his gift of teaching in a purposeful way which is partly what led him to NYC. I'm not sure what happened to him after he got there. I lost touch with him and truthfully had only talked to him online a couple of times since graduation. It goes without saying that things must not have been what he'd hoped.

Rather than speculate about why it happened, I would rather use this space to talk about what he meant to me. You see besides just being a classmate in the same program he was also a co-faculty member with me during our student teaching at Round Rock High School. I truly feel that without him at that school, I may have become very jaded toward students and education in general. But, as luck would have it, he was there. It saddens me to think that I never had the opportunity to tell him what a difference he made just by talking with me about students and lessons. We shared ideas, thoughts and failures with one another. He was the guy I went to during my time of student teaching when the chips were down and I needed a boost. Like I said, he probably never knew it, but I honestly doubt I'd be where I am now without his influence. And now... he's gone.

Knowing how this tragedy has affected me, I can't begin to fathom how his family and long term girlfriend are coping. Please pray for these people and anyone else that might have been impacted by Adrian's passing.

You will be missed Mr. Cane. You were a good friend and an incredible teacher.

Should I stay or should I go...

So I've been kind of overwhelmed by how many of you have missed the blog on its hiatus over the past few days. It really means alot that you even care to read it, let alone miss it. So without further adieu (pardon my French), here's what I've been thinking about lately....

So today was my first day ever to get a sub. If you read a few posts back you'll see the whole ranting saga of why exactly I had to leave. Needless to say all of that business in that post was a little over the top. I wound up only being gone for one period of class and our AP came in to talk to the students about bullying and what not during that class. Nevertheless, I felt weird leaving. So weird in fact that I was almost late to my training class because I was so nervous about just taking off. Thank goodness for my mentor, Julie. Without her I never would have gotten set up for the sub in the first place. I swear whatever they're paying that woman isn't enough. I think I'm a fairly solid first year teacher but if it weren't for her and a couple other ladies up at school, I probably would have already decided I didn't want to be a teacher anymore. It hasn't taken me long to realize, after talking with some of my rookie teacher friends all of whom I consider to be better teachers than myself, that without support we first year kiddos are dead in the water... but that's another discussion.

What's been on my mind a bunch today is something Julie brought up yesterday as I was filling my sub folder. So I'm sitting there all frazzled about having to leave and all the stuff involved with being gone and worrying about what my kids were going to be like for another teacher when I boldly proclaimed, "I will never miss another day." I mean seriously, the kids need us real teachers there. It's like the difference between having your roof held together by nails and boards instead of chewing gum and tape. Please don't take offense, subs. You guys provide a valuable service. But let's be serious... the kids don't know you, you don't know them, you probably know nothing about the subject and you're really just a placeholder that's there to make sure the kids don't tear down the walls. Maybe this is disrespectful but I guess that sentiment right there is why I don't ever want to leave my kids with a substitute.

So anyway after I made my bold proclamation, Julie says, "Well Matt, you'll have to miss at some point." To which I sort of sneered. "I'm serious, come January... you'll have to take off at least a week for that new baby of yours." A WEEK?! nope... aint happenin

OK so then I come home and tell my wife, "Wife, you won't believe what Julie said to me today..." Well you can probably guess how that turned out. Amazingly, Julie (a mother herself) was right. And apparently I have until January to wrap my head around being gone for 5 days minimum. Think about it though. The baby probably won't show up right on time, we don't exactly have the lil guy on an egg timer. So I won't even be able to plan for the days like I would a vacation. I'm just going to have to wing it at the last minute. Nothing says positive learning environment like 'wingin it'!

Regardless of what happens I'm sure that when the big day comes, I'll be happy to give up my 150 7th graders for my one 7 pounder. Here's to you baby, making me take days off whether I want to or not. Lord please just help me find a good sub....


Overheard at WoRMS:
"OK so North and South Carolina... Which is in Canada?" Real question folks... I kid you not.

Me and this gun go way back...

So I just got in from my second hunting 'expedition' after a near 20 year layover. I'm not really sure why it took me this long to get back at it. I used to hunt some when I lived in WV but ever since we moved to Texas it just never started back up.
Things were bound to change eventually since I live in Austin and one of my best friends here has a veritable arsenal in his house and loves to hunt. So anyway over the long weekend I decided to bite the bullet, so to speak, and buy my first rifle. To tell the truth it's the first gun I've ever personally owned. Before now, I've always used guns borrowed from dad. So needless to say, I'm pretty proud. Not only am I proud of the deal I got on a gun that was probably worth a couple hundred dollars more than I paid for it but also of the gun itself. The gun is a Winchester 1894 and shoots 44 magnum shells. I love it for a couple of reasons.

The first is because it stirs the echos in my past a little bit. When I was about waist high to the average adult, I had a cap gun that fed the old style paper reel of caps through it. Its lever action and overall style was designed to look exactly like the gun I currently own. Not only that but through a little detective work on the serial number, I've concluded that, at about the same time I was popping caps at anything that moved with that old gun, the real deal that I just bought was rolling off the assembly line over at Winchester. But I digress. The real story of that old cap gun is how much it reminds me of my Granddad. He was a great man that always made time for his youngest grandson. He was also a smoker which in most instances is something I wish he hadn't done. One time however, when I came around with my little plastic Winchester he called me over. He had me hold it up while he put his mouth to the barrel and blew into it. Then he held his finger over the end and said, "Now shoot!" So I did and as the cap cracked he pulled his finger off the barrel and smoke began to slowly rise from the end. I couldn't believe it, this had to be the coolest thing ever. And even though it had been it had been almost 20 years since that day, I knew when I saw this gun... I had to buy it.

The second big reason I love it is that I look at it and just feel history. You have to understand that, for the most part, this gun's design has remained unchanged since it's invention over 100 years ago. This is a gun that was used by John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, and every male in your family who's ever shot at something in the past 100 years. People have hunted everything from rabbits to polar bears with them depending on the caliber and lived to tell about it. The Earps used it when they weren't toting pistols, the bad guys that shot back were using them too. So when a twig snaps, I reach for the hammer, just like guys have been doing since the turn of last century.

So maybe it's cranking the lever back on that old gun, or maybe it's the nature, or maybe it's just hanging out with my good buddy. No matter what it is, somehow the fact that I can do little more than shoot at stuff... doesn't really matter.

Overheard at WoRMS
Kid 1: Can I tell a quick story about Hawaii?
Kid 2: Nobody wants your dumb story.
Kid 1: That's rude!
Kid 2: It's true though.
Kid 3: (consoling Kid 1) He's right actually.
Me: ::Shakes Head::

Ever wonder why your teacher acted like they didn't like you?

It probably wasn't that the teacher didn't like you, it was probably that they felt like they were getting dumped on a little.

Normally I'm not one to complain when it comes to my job. It's a job that I mostly enjoy and that I get paid to do. If I loved every second of it, I suppose I could work pro bono. But they pay me to put up with the parts I don't particularly enjoy so I put up with it. But when I feel like my kids are getting dumped on, it's time to take action. Now all in all I'll say that most of our teacher inservice things have been, at least on some level, beneficial. But after today I was left wondering, why didn't they finish? Let me explain.

Generally about anywhere you teach you have this system that you get evaluated under. Ours is called PDAS. As a teacher, everyone must go through PDAS training. This training takes about three and a half hours and there are a total of 3 or 4 folks at my school who need to have it... including myself. Surely you would take care of such things during inservice right? Surely you wouldn't want to pay a sub to take the place of a teacher when the teacher is there at school and perfectly healthy right? Surely you would rather have a teacher teaching kids rather than a sub handing out some lame assignment that the teacher threw together at the last second right? Surely... SURELY you care enough about the kids, the curriculum, and your own budget enough not to do this RIGHT?! wrong....

So PDAS training happens flat in the middle of the week. dumb. So a sub gets hired to do my job even though I'm in the building. dumb. So my kids get saddled with a sub they don't know, a junk assignment that they don't like and will get little to nothing out of. dumb. All so I can go see how we get evaluated? dumb, dumb, dumb. My mind is all dumbed out today.
I just flat out can't understand what goes through people's head sometimes. Some teachers may well like this idea. It's a break from the kids perhaps. But I don't see it that way. As much as I like the other teachers, truthfully I would hate the place were it not for my kids. Each class is different and while they all come with different challenges they also all come with different things to enjoy. So I don't see it as a break. Quite the opposite in fact.

So what possible explanation could there be? Well in my short time of student teaching and now teaching a real class I've noticed something. No matter what district you're at, there seem to be alot of people in some mystical land of education that rain bits of colossal teaching poop down on us from time to time. This is where the idea and especially the practice of TAKS came in. It's also where you get beauties like benchmark testing, cross subject post it note taking, days on end of hoo-rah inservice where teachers are encouraged to do things they have no idea how to do... the list goes on and on. Who are these educational geniuses? Well to be honest I can't be sure. But there are certain things we do know about them.
1. They have never been teachers. Perhaps they have been but it's been 5 to 10 years since they have. So we're looking for someone out of touch with both kids and faculty.
2. They're really smart on paper. Check the walls folks. These cats have PhDs. You better listen to what they have to say... they've written stuff.
3. They have great ideas but suck at implementation. I hate to but let's go back to TAKS. Overall I don't think it's a terrible idea to make sure kids aren't just being taught how to color in social studies. But in practice.... An 11th grade US history teachers job depends on one of two things. 1) The 8th grade teachers were so good at teaching pre-civil war American history that the students haven't forgotten ANY of it. or 2) The aforementioned 11th grade teacher is really good at review. When kids are forced to answer detailed questions about things they learned 3 years prior, you can just bet they'll have forgotten what they learned. The outcome is that US history stops at Birmingham and restarts at Jamestown. ugh... So while on some level TAKS is a good idea, they've completely blown the implementation.
4. They're into the latest fads. What's that you say? Boxy Ray-bans from the 80's are in?! I gotta get some! COW charts and video conferencing are in?! Who cares if it looks good on us or not? Gotta keep with the times! These schoolhouse smarty pants types are always looking for the new and improved... even if all it really is is recycled poo...
5. Lastly, they really, really like to hear themselves talk. Or perhaps they like to hear a proxy talk about their ideas for them. Either way, they've been working they're whole careers looking for ways to make you a crappier, less efficient, more frustrated teacher. Once they pull it off, they just can't wait to tell you about it.

So be on the lookout for these titans of the industry folks. They are the educator you can only hope to be.

And for you students... your teacher doesn't hate you. They just hate the crap that comes with teaching you.

What's so hard about being funny?

So as I sat and read an earlier post I realized... man, why are all my blog postings so sappy. One friend of mine likened it to a Hallmark card. To know me is to know that this isn't necessarily how I am. I actually live in a world surrounded by comedy but somehow it's just not how I write. For instance: Behind me right now is a cat. Her name is Annie Oakley. She is, as I write this, switching between two activities. 1: Trying to lick the very center of her back where I devilishly placed her hairball cream earlier today. By now it isn't so much a cream, it's really more a booger in her hair but nevertheless, she is determined. 2: Taking a break from that she is spending time alternating between walking in and dipping her whole face in her water dish.... We're pretty sure there's something wrong with her.

Then earlier tonight, these too boys sitting in front of us at the football game were having a whole bucket of laughs. They started out by sleeping through the whole first half and then when they got up, the real fun began. These boys were brothers and probably about 5 and 7. At first they did simple things like spraying each other in the eyeball with a mister spray trying to see who could keep their eye open the longest. Soon after that the older one stepped back and punched the young one right across the mouth. The younger retaliated with a harder punch that caught his brother in the jaw. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, here were two little boys sitting with their dad at a football game minding their own business just, oh you know, punching each other in the face. After about 5 or 6 exchanges the dad finally turned around and laughingly asked, "What's goin on over here?" Man I hope my kid's a boy sometimes.

Anyway so I guess my point in all this is that sometimes it isn't always easy to make a point writing funny stuff. But maybe I don't need a point. After all, all this thing really is is a chance for me to sit down and talk about what's up with me. I really appreciate all those of you who have been reading my posts when I put new ones up. It means alot that you take time out of your busy hours of boredom at work, your late night hours when you can't figure out what to do but you don't want to go to bed, and your drunken hours where almost any link on facebook looks interesting. Seriously, thanks. I'll keep you in mind and try to be slightly more entertaining.

If you really want funny, comment below and let me know. I'll relay a story on here about a guy I knew in jhigh that was old enough to drive and used to hide in his car during football practice... in full pads. He was a role model to us all.

Size Matters...

So I've been lucky enough in the past few years to talk to Vince Young a couple of times. By talk to please realize that I mean listen to. I'm always pretty amazed by him and his back story. Growing up without a dad. Growing up with only women in the house. Growing up in a tough neighborhood where people were routinely shot and arrested.

But look at him now. Respectable, interesting, funny, a supreme athlete and one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet.

As he posed for pictures with hands on my wife's pregnant belly the juxtaposition was pretty interesting. My baby is about long as your hand and weighs in at a little more than a large muffin. Vince on the other hand is like 6'5, 240 lbs. But I'll tell you this: In person, I stand at 6'4 215 and I feel small next to this guy. Regardless what his actual measurables are, the dude is big.

I couldn't help but think about how at one time THE Vince Young weighed just a little more than a large muffin. As Dr. Suess once said, 'Oh the places you'll go little muffin baby.' OK so it isn't a direct quote but whatever. The point is that when you were a kid and your parents told you, 'You can do anything if you just set your mind to it,' they weren't lying! Just look at Vince. Dude was in a bike wreck that sliced him open like William Wallace in the final scene of Braveheart and he still managed to become an incredible high school, college and NFL quarterback .

I intend on sharing this story with my kid when he finally makes his grand entrance into this world. And then I'll share it again when he actually understands what I'm saying. But I think the story goes beyond just a tiny fetus growing up to be the man who walked on water at the Rose Bowl. The story here is that no matter who you are and what you're doing, you can always keep doing great things until you're dead. Take a lesson from Vince who could have looked around and just given up when he was in elementary school. He could of listened to the naysayers when he started at UT who said he had no business behind center. He could have listened to them when they said his throwing sucked, he ran too much or that he just wasn't smart enough to grasp the NFL game. But he didn't... he kept going, making him self better while proving people wrong. He realized early on that no one kicks you unless you're in front of them and he just kept on running. And don't think for a second that after the Pro Bowl, the cover Madden 08 and the other accolades he's earned that he's anywhere near stopping. In fact, I can say with a fair amount of certainty that the Super Bowl and the Hall of Fame are set firmly in his sights. And good luck to him.

Today Vince Young will have his jersey retired during the game against Florida Atlantic. My kid will be there, listening to the whole thing. Let's just hope he (OK... or she) draws some inspiration.

So because you're not only a great football player, but also someone who has inspired so many of us lesser humans...
Congratulations Vince, you deserve everything you get.

To Whom it May Concern...

Dear Any Teacher Who Ever Had Me,

Boy I bet you're surprised to see me now. Married, a kid on the way, teaching middle schoolers and loving life. I bet you thought I'd probably never make much of myself after the way I acted in your class. I bet when I slammed paint balls inside your classroom set of books you wished I'd move to another town. I can only imagine that when I questioned the validity of your lessons that you wanted to throw me out the window. When I showed up to class with no shoes and a hat on you always heaved a sigh. When I peeled out and almost hit you in the parking lot you didn't know whether to scream in terror or anger. When I talked and talked... and talked some more regardless of what was happening in class I'm sure you were growing less and less fond of me, many of you even told me so. When I showed up late to class, when I did the wrong assignment and when I made funny cartoons about you, I know you got weary. When I sat in the back and talked on IM and you thought we were making fun of you, we were... everyday.... and you dealt with it. When I thought your class sucked and you overlooked it. When I came to you with a story about my family issues and you knew I was lying. When I said my printer was broke when it wasn't and my email was down and in reality I just forgot. When I looked you right in the eye and said, "No, I wasn't cheating", and you managed to forgive me, you dealt with it and went on. I know it made your job alot less fun. I made your job alot less fun. And for all these things you put up with... Thanks. You deserved more than what I was putting in and still you perservered and came to work everyday. Maybe you saw something that most people didn't. Maybe you saw that underneath it all I wasn't that bad of a kid. Maybe I almost made you quit and you just managed to stick it out until I was gone. Either way, when I come to class these days and one of my boys is sitting in the back of the class, talking, laughing it up, making it sound like he's ripping his papers up and chewing his pencils in half, I think of you. So thanks again, to all of you... for good or for bad, you are my inspiration.

Matt


After yesterday's post I've decided I'm going to start posting Things Overheard at WoRMS...
Today's entry comes from none other than our LeBron loving teenager of yesterday:
After a discussion of cardinal (North, South East, West) and Intermediate (Northwest, Southeast etc.) directions she asks, "So is there like an Eastwest?" I'm telling you folks, she ain't dumb... really!

The Measure of Intelligence

So today I was taken aback by a question. It's only the third time in my short and illustrious career that one of my kids has said something that seemed so far out there that I literally didn't know what to say. I'd like to share these gems with you here:

The first happened around 3 years ago when I was just starting the UTeach program. They had us spending 10 hours in an elementary school classroom just getting our feet wet. One day I was teaching a small group of 2nd grade kiddos the prefixes re- and un-. We had gone over words like undo, redo, reload, unload, unzip, retie, untie... you get the picture. Anyway so at the end of the lesson I decided to 'check for understanding' by going around to each of the 5 boys and get them to name a word that begins with re- or un-. Simple right? Not so fast. Guys 1, 2 and 3 had no issue saying words that we had previously discussed. One even used a new word, reshelve! So at this point I'm feeling pretty good. The teacher observing me is smiling, the kids are answering well and we're all golden until guy 4 steps up to the plate. 'OK buddy, give me a word that starts with re- or un-', I said. Then he sat there, wheels spinning in his mind. All of a sudden a light bulb came on. He looked at me and said with the utmost certainty... "Bracelet!"
Hmmm...

The second came during the very next semester when I was spending 20 hours at the middle school level. I was actually teaching the same subject that I am now, Texas History. One day I was showing the class some info on plains Indians and telling them about the various uses for buffalo. I talked to them about the stomach being used for bowls and the hide for shelter etc. Somewhere toward the end of the conversation a girl sitting up by the overhead looked at me with a whole barrel full of sincerity and asked, "So is that where buffalo wings come from?" Assuming she was kidding as 7th graders are prone to do, I gave her a courtesy snicker. In the middle of my sneer I realized her expression had yet to change. Without a thought I vomited the words, "Wait are you serious?" ............Yep, she was. The kicker is that I have the whole thing on video and I was being evaluated that day. Woof....

The third, like I said before, happened today. So we're talking about the significance of Nov. 22 1963 on Texas history. To those of you who have trouble remembering dates, this is the day JFK was shot in Dallas which in affect made Texan Lyndon B. Johnson the president. So I explain to the students that it's Johnson's popularity in Central Texas that has led to so many things in the area being named after him. Lake LBJ, the LBJ library, LBJ high school... the list goes on and on. The kids got into it and started naming LBJ things they knew. Some even asked about Lady Bird and we all sort of got into this really cool conversation about old Lyndon's impact on their lives today. Somewhere in the middle of this, a hand goes up in the back. I acknowledge her and step toward her as the class had, at that point, gotten a little noisy... and thank God it had. When I was just a couple feet away she got this really quizzical look and said, "I thought LBJ stood for LeBron James." ............................................................"no", I said quietly.

These situations bring up feelings that make me feel like I might be turning into a grandparent rather than a parent. I just want to scream, "What's the matter with kids these days?!" But then I'm reminded of something an AP instructor told me this summer:
He, one of the most intelligent men I've met in quite a while, told me this story about how he never understood the why the Civil War was called the Civil War. This is probably because he wasn't hearing, thinking or saying Civil. Instead he was hearing, thinking and saying Silver War. No wonder he was confused.

All of this makes me think about how we measure intelligence in our society. Here in Texas we have this little gem called the TAKS test. That's Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills for those not in the know. Anyway so it's basically this mulitple choice test that determines the fate of the kid's educational future, the federal funding of the school, the jobs of teachers and administrators, the rating of the school and the district and probably the fate of the world as we know it too. But why? Just because a kid can't tell me LBJ means Lyndon Baines Johnson doesn't mean they're stupid, it just means they're disinterested. For example: Driving a car is extremely complex. Between the operation of the vehicle itself and the traffic laws and negotiating the roads with other drivers... it can be pretty intense. And yet how many more kids want to drive and know they'll succeed at driving than those who want to do and know they'll succeed at algebra. Algebra really isn't more complex, it just isn't as fun. The same girl that asked about LeBron's lake and library monicker can tell me anything I'd ever want to know about the Jonas Bros.... and then some.

So from now on I pledge (scout's honor) to withhold judgement. Just because someone doesn't know what you think is basic knowledge, doesn't mean they're dumb. They're just.... for lack of a better word... Bracelet?

technorati

Technorati Profile

Do what you love and love what you do...

Tonight I want to talk to you about how I think you can live a happier life. It's probably simpler than you think...

This all kind of stemmed from my stint as a sounding board during multiple lunchtime tirades yesterday. Maybe I'm a little naive but shouldn't teachers really enjoy the life they lead? Shouldn't they, on some basic level, like their job? Perhaps I'm showing my youth. Perhaps a job as a teacher is the same doldrum that all jobs are. Joyless days on top of joyless days where your only method of survival is pissing and moaning during the day and getting drunk at the end of it. But why does that have to be the way it is? Not just for teachers but for everybody... I mean why can't you strike out and make a better life for yourself? So what if you've been doing the same thing forever or you went to college to do something that you now hate. That fact shouldn't be enough to tie you down for the next couple of decades while you wait for social security to kick.

But I guess this isn't really true for everyone. Alot of people, teachers in particular, have a tendency to make an about-face during their sophomore slump and never look back. I say more power to em. If you realize it's making your life unhappy, why keep it up?! If on day one you already feel like the world is caving in around you... what are you doing here?

Those of you who have taught are probably familiar with the idea that you can't smile until after Christmas. It shows vulnerability and the kids will eat you alive. What?! You guys that know me personally, please... if I am ever working and decide that not smiling is a good idea, let me know it's time to hang it up.

These kids need love. They need compassion and they need to feel like we're on their team. Why the F would you decide not smiling at them is a good idea? So they'll be scared of you? So they'll know you don't mess around? I mean seriously, what's the upside? Think back to all the teachers you liked the best (or perhaps disliked the least), how many of them didn't smile? How many acted like they didn't want to be there? How many were too busy to be involved with student activities? I would guess the pickin's are slim to none there.

So teachers, love on your kids. You'll both be better off for it, even if it does make them more talkative. Non-teachers, love on your own kids. Show them with your face how happy you are to see them. Even if they don't act like it, it means alot to them. And for goodness sakes if you hate your job... go find another!
Love what you do, and do what you love... it may seem difficult to take a step in a different direction, but you have to ask yourself, 'Ten years from now, am I going to look back and be glad I didn't make a change?' If the answer is anything but yes, you might want to check out the Help Wanted section.

First Day Blow Away

Well so my first day just ended. It was all pretty surreal. After all the worry, the stress, the excitement and the anxiety... it was really just like slipping on an old shoe. I was so extremely comfortable that it was almost a little scary. I think that's probably a credit to the UTeach program up at Texas. By the time we hit the classroom for real, we've been there... alot. So maybe feeling unprepared was silly in the end. After all, we've been getting ready for today for the last 3 years. It's nice to see hard work pay off.

My kids are great. Which was the opposite of how other teachers said they would be. They would all say things about how rowdy they were going to be or how tough they'd be in the afternoon. Truthfully I didn't really notice it. I'm a firm believer in the 'perception is reality' mantra. If you think kids are crazy... then they are. If you think you're a bad teacher or that you can't do math or that you don't have a good memory then chances are those things are true about you.

All in all things went great. In the classes that I was able to get things done quickly for, we got to talk about a metaphor I came up with while watching a video on Youtube. In the 'Rabbit and Snake' metaphor I showed them a picture of a gross snake and a furry little rabbit. We talked about how if you put a rabbit in a cage with a big snake, the rabbit would surely meet his end. The students also talked about how even in the wild a rabbit's only true recourse is to simply run and hide.
Then I explained to them that as students they are all rabbits. They are in a cage that they are legally bound to go to everyday and there is no escape. As if that weren't bad enough, they've got snakes in the cage. Teachers, classes, tests, projects, busy schedules, and relationships can all be snakes in their school 'cage'. Now they have two options. They can either let those snakes eat them alive or become fierce bunnies who aren't afraid of anything and will attack it until it isn't there to attack anymore.

Then we watched this video.

You'll notice that in the video the rabbit tries unsuccessfully a number of times to attack the snake head on. Sometimes the best approach is not always the first one you come up with. So eventually the rabbit figures out, I should bite the tail and the rest is history. Fight until the fight is done.

There's a whole bunch of lessons to be learned from that little bunny. I had fun teaching it. I had fun with the kids. It was so refreshing to finally be there in the classroom, just me and them. I have to admit though I had Baby Spur on my mind alot today. I'm really looking forward to that kid being born, but I'm also excited about it becoming a teenager. Contrary to popular belief... they really aren't that bad. I love em and I love being around them.

I suppose as a parting shot I'll leave you like I left the kids today. Be fierce rabbits... you never know when a snake's gonna get hungry.

First Time for Everything

As I sit down to write this, it occurs to me that I always thought blogs were dumb. Why would someone just sit down and write about themselves for extended amounts of time? But perhaps it's something about the precipice I find myself sitting on that makes me think it might be kind of interesting. You see tomorrow I start my career. I am no longer the college student who went to 5 different schools over 8 years just to get an BA in History. I am no longer a bachelor as I have been married now for over 3 years. I am no longer without dependents as my wife will be giving birth to our first child in January. So as I get ready for bed tonight it comes with the realization of all these things and that I simply am no longer a child.

Some of you may wonder why it has taken me until I am 26 years old to figure out I'm not a kid anymore. Why didn't I figure it out when I got married or perhaps when I graduated in May? No telling. But the fact remains that for some odd reason I'm taking a look at life and becoming a little overwhelmed at where I am. So why not document it?

Tomorrow I will start my career, as I said before. But this is not just any career. Tomorrow will be my first day as a teacher. I am teaching 7th grade Texas History here in Austin and couldn't be more thrilled with my job.

Remember your first day of school? Probably not. I know I don't. But I can imagine that I felt a little like I do now.
1) Excited: How could you not feel excited about all the newness. You are completely ignorant to what lies ahead and, as they say, what you don't know about tomorrow can't pee in your Wheaties today. Actually no one says that... but it applies.

2) Scared: The bottom line is that on your first day of school you probably didn't know anyone there. This one girl I went to kinder with used to chill with her mom all day from birth until that fateful Day 1 of school. Watching them try to push her into class without her mom was sort of like watching someone give a cat a bath. While I'm sure I'm not going to be forcefully shoved in front of my students tomorrow, I do feel a little like an ostrich in need of a sandbox.

3) Hopeful: While some people may lump hopeful with excited, I didn't think it was appropriate. Excitement for me is sometimes a little blind. Hope however has clear goals in mind. This year I plan to do more than simply make it. I plan to challenge my students and myself to think and grow as the year progresses. I plan to become involved and become a great teacher. I plan to learn from mistakes and never make the same one twice. I plan to make a difference in someone's life. I am, in a word, hopeful. Hopeful that these things will come true and I'll see my plans into fruition. Hopeful that students and parents will live happily ever after with me. Hopeful that I won't be late; that I'll remember to pack a lunch; that I won't fall down in front of the kids; that I won't fall down in front of the other teachers; that I won't fall down in front of parents; that I'll just generally stay on my feet; that I'll be a good husband; that I'll be a good teacher; that I'll be a good dad.... I'm hopeful that I, my students and my kid will be their best. And to all of you reading this chronicle of my life, be your best today and you'll have no regrets tomorrow. Cliche? Maybe, but it's good advice that you and I both should probably take to heart.